ask yourself: how did i get here

fuel for the fire

as i start in on month three, i’m starting to notice that i’m eating a whole lot better without trying all that hard. i think in recent history, i have been a reasonably healthy eater, but much of that was premeditated.  meaning, i would think about whatever workout or event that was in the next day or so and plan to eat accordingly. this also often resulted in a binge on ice cream or doritos at some point. i also ‘rewarded’ myself a whole lot more (see ICE CREAM). but with workouts and events pretty much taking up most of 2010, i’m finding that i’m consistently eating well almost without thinking about it.  i have some sort of tough (for me) workout several times a week, so what used to be a conscious decision to fuel a workout started becoming a habit at some point. my body feels good when i put whole food in it. seems obvious in theory, but its a whole lot more meaningful when you can actually feel the difference.  as such, i find myself trying more and more new things, many of which, end up taking up permanent residence in my kitchen, taking the space of former staples like ice cream, crackers and diet coke.

i still eat crap. i have a sweet tooth that i can thank both my parents for. and it demands attention several times a day. and savory crap is just as important to me. and let’s not forget my ongoing love affair with wine, beer and jameson, shall we? (maybe one day i’ll give these things up entirely, but i honestly don’t see that happening. not any time soon, anyway.  we’re all about honesty here, aren’t we?) but, i have been pleasantly surprised to notice that i make sure i’m stuffed to the brim with whole foods before i cave to any of those. i toss a handful of spinach on just about everything hot.  my plate is usually covered with veggies of all types and colors.  snacks are nuts and fruits.  extra veggies added to everything.  what i find is that if i do go for the sweet treat or glass of wine after dinner, its more of a third of a glass or a pinch of chocolate chips. enough to satisfy me, but definitely not responsible for making me feel full.  snacks? i eat an apple or a handful of almonds. if i still want a piece of candy after that, i totally have one.

nuts, oats and greek yogurt, by the by, are INCREDIBLE. they keep me so full for so long.  and can be added to ANYTHING, i swear.

the result? i’m full longer, have way more energy, my skin looks better, my body is physically looking better as it builds muscle and performs better for longer. all these positive results make me sure that this is a habit that is forming (and hopefully sticking around).  they tell me that i’m healthy and strong. and that i’m doing what i set out to do: honor, respect and thank my body.

in a week i will celebrate a birthday.  i am determined not to let it be a scary milestone (i tend to ‘freak out’ at birthdays). i’m determined to be happy that i’m entering the last year of my twenties (OHMYGOD,WHAT!??!) strong and healthy with my best foot forward…

…at which point i will fuel my body with canned beer and chocolate cake. and lucky charms.

philly2010.livestrong.org/annejuliet

last weeks update.

a page from the bus diaries

i take the bus. i occasionally ride the metro, but i tend to find it a bit dark, depressing and anti-social. and crowded. and stressful. the bus is above ground, has windows (that look out into the world…not into a dark tunnel, and just seems less terroristy.  i’m not even going to explain what that means. my head comes up with these things and when my mouth tries to defend them i end up sounding like a butt face.

the metro is also a commitment. you have to pay before you even get on. before you have any idea if there are delays or how many freaking people are in fact waiting below you on the platform (waiting to push you on the track).  with the bus, above ground, you wait on a corner, with fresh air and plenty of room to walk away without investing a dime. the whole experience is just way more pleasant. and way less…terroristy.

so, the bus. not the metro.

today i was happily taking in the fresh air at my bus stop, reading my book and waiting for the 43 to turn the corner and pick me up. i took my spot in line, boarded, paid and began the decision process of how i would handle the rest of the journey. by the time the bus gets to me, all the benches have at least on person in them.  so, the decision becomes, who should i sit next to? who will stay on their side of the bench, keeping elbows and bags out of MY side? who will keep their nose burried in their own book/ipod/phone and leave me alone? (see, i like the social aspect of the bus, so long as nobody is being social with me.) who won’t stink? who won’t try to get up while the bus is barreling down conn, making me get up and push around the standers? who will be the best bench buddy?

its the first big decision of my day.

9 times out of 10, i make a great decision. today was no exception.

see, the bus ride took an unusually long time this morning. i am sure i was being my normal respectful self for the first half, but eventually i let the tunes take me over. i was reading staring blankly at my book and…humming!  loudly. so loudly, in fact, that i got the ole shoulder tap followed by a curt request to PLEASE STOP HUMMING from the person in front of me who had done the ‘movie theater look-back’ 8 or 10 times before bravely shoulder tapping me.  i saw the look-backs…but as i avoided eye-contact, i thought surely they were intended for someone else.

then it occurred to me: today i was the shitty bench buddy.

february

feb 6, 2010

feb 27, 2010

oh what a difference a month makes.

with sadness, no nyc this weekend

i’m feeling sad that i’m not going to NYC this weekend to visit miss h.  but, it’s snowing there, did you know? and to be honest, while my bus did eventually depart dc instead of being canceled, i just couldn’t stand the thought of being stuck in the bus for extra hours because of snow.

and something else that’s weird for me, i’m totally sick of snow. i actually want to just make out with the pavement every time i see it free of snow and ice.  dc is finally thawing out, okay, that’s a bad descriptor, it’s freaking cold and windy, but the snow is gone(ish). and i never thought i’d be so happy to be without snow. i miss it every winter, but i’m just sick of it. its bringin me DOWN!  i had a great time playing in it for a week there, but it was just too much and i got all cabin fevery just thinking about pulling up to nyc and stepping into 2 feet of snow. i have had my fill.

h, i’m so so so sorry, i feel really shitty about not coming. BUT, i’m really excited for an april weekend and even if snowmageddon 24 graces us, i’ll be there:)

wet suit woes

among the many trivial things that overflow out of my brain on a daily basis is figuring out exactly what to wear for the swim portion of the tri in…SEPTEMBER. that’s right, it’s over 6 months away and i allow this to take up valuable real estate in the tight quarters of my brain.

in addition to training for the ability and confidence to SWIM that portion, i am working up the courage to strut around in a wet suit.

i have no idea what kind of wet suit to wear. i wouldn’t know what it should feel like. i also have no idea if i will stick with this particular sport, so i am intimidate by the notion of BUYING one.

recently i have been hearing about wetsuitrental.com. seems like a good concept. 40 bucks for the weekend of the event. but, i’d want to practice once or twice in it in open water. plus, will it be the right ‘kind.’ are there various ‘kinds?’ i know there are, but how much does it really matter. do i want shorts, tank, sleeves…? what if i LOVE it and wish i’d spent those 40 bucks on my own?  they are SO expensive!

i don’t feel at all better for having vented, which usually i do. BUT, just MAYBE, someone has insight? ANY INSIGHT would be welcome insight. you know how to find me…what’s a gal to do?

this is why i'm doing this

in a matter of days after i put out my first email requesting support, i was bombarded with generosity.

and words of encouragement.

and stories.

i’m honored.

and excited.

and brainstorming more fun ways to raise money! just a week in and i’m 70% to my goal…that i set to achieve by august. i’m almost certain i will be raising the bar.

it’s so amazing what can spark a story or donation. i’m learning from my friends and family and so, so, so thankful!

i’m still hurt, but i’m healing.  the ankle injury is still a giant mystery, but it’s not the end of the world so far as i can tell. after a pep talk last night that was much needed (and much appreciated), i decided to work my cardio and strength training to the max to keep strong, but stay off the high impact activity (that i’m craving) in order to let my ankle heal completely.  or as completely as possible before the upcoming race.  i have not decided if i will complete my long runs or not, but i’m hoping i can get at least one more in for confidence sake.

my goals may be reset depending on how said long run goes, but i am coming to terms with that.

the main goal, the overarching goal, is to raise money and awareness for a cause that is important while treating my body with as much respect as humanly possible. resting it is part of that. i need to keep reminding myself and look at this mysterious and annoying injury as a reminder to focus on what i’m doing. what i’m doing it honoring my health.

finishing all the events is the other part. times and pace and all that is just for me. and i’m learning to let that go.

last weeks update

cabin camping

perhaps more appropriately, chalet camping, in photos:

jame-o

more bread, please.

rule-breaker

family dinner

monkey in the cat house.

bisQUITS

bacon

men. and fun dip.

boyfriends!

snow angels

**insert 12 undocumented hours here.**

the aftermath.

see you in 2011!

27%

at this very moment, i’m 27% to my fundraising goal. 27! my lucky number and most favorite number!

and can i tell you how incredible i feel? so many people making such significant contributions.

THANK YOU!

27!

my 2010 endurance challenge update

well, i missed the ole blog last week. the storm knocked a tree on my interwebs and cable. it was sad. and for the record. comcast was absolutely and completely ridiculous. up until the point that they actually addressed the issue when i was delighted with service the men who finally helped us provided. without going into too much detail, we flagged them down in the middle of the street and begged them to hear our story bc their customer service folks sucked. they did and reacted beautifully. thank you.

onward. comcast is back. olympics are on. anne is happy.

except on thing - my ankle is mysteriously swollen and tender to the touch.

injury.

i don’t have the foggiest what it is, but it’s a TOTAL bummer and really bringing me down. don’t get me wrong, i realize there are much bigger things to worry about, but it’s a hurdle i really didn’t want to come to, especially this early in the game.  i have not run this week, which is making me twitchy. it’s also making me afraid that all my hard work is going to slide. and it might. bur realistically, i know it won’t make a huge difference as long as i heal quickly. and depending on how long this takes to heal, likely easily recovered from.  i have some theories on what it is and how it happened, all includes blaming the snow, which i love. but again, theories. derived from a consultation with dr. google.

i was just getting so cocky in my head. i was getting faster and more consistent and so sure i was going to make my stretch pace goal. i still might, i have not lost hope, but i am pretty sure i forgot to knock on all the wood.

last night i was dressed and ready to run. and then i decided that the smart thing to do is to listen to my body, not my heart, and rest. so, i’m resting. i’ll run tomorrow, skip my long run this weekend (which is convenient for CABIN CAMPING 2010!!!!) and reevaluate at my first scheduled run for next week on tuesday.

as far as road blocks are concerned, 6 weeks in is upsetting, but the severity is seemingly not. so i’m trying to embrace that reality and plan around it.  for example, this weekend i have decided to do some low impact cross training instead…maybe some folks will join me? i don’t know, but i’ll get out there and get some cardio and strength in in between handles of jameson.

i also decided to finally launch my efforts to fundraise! you can check my progress on the left in that really ugly widget. its ugly, but there to stay. helps keep me motivated.  so, last night i started an email campaign. i’ll use plenty of methods, but this was a good start. it was really fun explaining to the various segments of my life about what i’m up to.  it felt like i was still being productive without getting my run in and reminded my of one of the reasons i’m doing this.  and if i don’t respond when my body talks to me, i might not be able to complete any of it.  so, i’m much more at ease with my decision to rest and happy to have found some inspiration from many lovely emails i have gotten in response. not to mention a generous start to achieving my goal from some big BIG hearts.

so, to those that have already donated, THANK YOU! and to those who have already been such an encouragement in other ways, thank YOU!

so, that’s my update. when i’m actually running, i’m feeling awesome and having a great time. especially in this snow!  but, i’m taking a break this week to make sure i stay healthy. i have started fundraising and have found some incredible inspiration that reminds me of who i am and what i am doing.

life is good great.